I have spent a really frustrating and yet powerful day breaking into new ground with my painting. I am working on Cuckmere and have some great sketches I want to build up into bigger more substantial works.
Looking back to Blow's work I was so excited and inspired I wanted to make about 10 paintings all at once, I tried keeping it to 4 and am still struggling to narrow down ambition and slow down my mind sufficiently for me to be able to do anything at all.
I was literally paralised with fear and excitment not knowing where to begin. 'just do something' kept ringing in my ears and I pushed on through.... days like these are great when they are over but exhausting, mentally and emotionally. I keep falling in love with marks and colours as they are and find it difficult to break free from them in order to move the piece on.
Its weird how into the accidental I am one minute and then paralysed, poised on the edge of being able to move forward the next. I put that down to time, space and fear constraints and a touch of too much self awareness!
Sometimes I wish I could be a hermit just able to get on with the development of my ideas ....